"OK,
you've got me, but who's got you?" - Lois Lane to Superman as
they fly off the terrace into the night...in Superman: the movie,
circa 1978)
I'll never forget those first 48 hours after bringing home my first baby from hospital. Even after nine months of carrying around "Fuji" (as she was affectionately known then in utero), I just couldn't believe that this small baby girl was actually mine. And now that we were home from hospital, there was no-one (gulp) with the 'expertise' to help out. No midwife to consult on breastfeeding, or sore nipples, or strange pains 'down there'; no one else to change nappies or take her away to a nursery so I could get some shuteye. It was down to me - I'm a Mum now, and this tiny little girl is totally dependent on me.
The thing is, no-one really tells you just how hard it can be in those first few weeks of motherhood. (Maybe Mums forget - or are so sleep deprived that one day just blurs into another?) In the lead-up to having a new baby, you're really focused on 'the birth' and how you're going to handle it. Then the instant the baby's born, your attention turns to feeding the baby (and how you're going to do that!). AND THEN, when you're home from hospital, inevitably, you're trying to cope with adjusting to a new life with a baby while trying to lose your own sense of self...not to mention sanity.
So the big question remains: how do you cope with your new life as a Mum without losing your mind in those first few weeks? Here are my 5 top sanity savers. I hope they help you too!
Avoid 'the pursuit' of perfection.The pressure you put on yourself in the chase will make you quit when your efforts don't match your expectations. There are no hard and fast rules to looking after a newborn, just take the time to find your own way, and don't expect to know everything - expecting too much from yourself will only cause anxiety and frustration and can leave you feeling down. Remember, your baby doesn't need you to be perfect or to get everything done - at the end of the day - your baby just needs you!
Have a daily plan. Not a strict schedule, but one that takes you out of the house for some fresh air. Grab the pram and walk to the local park, shops, or explore your neighbourhood. Why? It helps stop a long day from feeling endless (especially after a night of little or no sleep). Plus if you're active, your body is producing endorphins (a chemical reaction in your body which in turn makes you feel GOOD). The real plus is it can help relieve stress, boost your immune system, as well as improve circulation and healing from labour and birth.
Do some household chores while your baby is awake. And sleep when the baby is asleep! When you have your first baby, it's easy to think you have to be completely focused on them while they're awake. But as any second or third-time Mum will tell you, the baby will be happy whether you're doing the laundry, unpacking the dishwasher, cooking, or even lying on the floor - as long as the baby's near you.
Ask for help when you need it. When you were pregnant, you probably looked forward to being at home, hanging out with other Mums and sipping on a latte. But realistically, life with a newborn isn't like that. Being at home a lot looking after your little one - instead of doing paid work - is a big adjustment, so give yourself some time to get used to it. Sometimes you can feel lonely and just talking about it with someone else can lighten the load. If you feel overwhelmed - ask for help - don't feel as though you have to do it all on your own while your partner is at work.
Believe in yourself. Being a Mum can be overwhelming, but no-one is more capable than you. Write a list of all the things you're good at, stick it on the fridge, and look at it whenever you doubt yourself.
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